Muuuaaaaahhhhhh I'm back and I do fear that I'm happier then ever....I don't know why I'm fearing this but it sounded like a good thing to say at the time!! I don't think I've ever been this happy but I will admit that it feels fabulous!! The funny thing is nothing has really changed except me I guess. I mean at the beginning of the year I was still the same depressed, fake, sad girl that I've always been. I've always learned to hide or fake my happiness...for the last....gosh however long. But I'm no longer faking...I'm actually sublimely happy!!! I didn't think it would ever happen but it has and I don't know how long it will last so I need to start taking advantage of it.

Ok so yes I'm still a little insecure about my body and my appearance but ya know what I don't think about it all the time and I don't dwell on what I look like or could look like because you know what I've decided....My body and the way it looks is actually the one thing I can control in this world so I'm not going to spend time complaining about what it looks like cause the way it looks is my own fault!!! How can I possibly condone complaining or stressing about something that I'm doing to myself. I've slowly started bettering the way I look and feel about myself and ya know what I can proudly say that I am happy with my attitude and everything I've been doing to better my body and for now I'm not going to let that little muffin top bother me because by the power in me it will be different soon and if it isn't then I can only blame myself!!

Gosh I'm annoying!!

Oh and yah I don't judge people anymore...it's so great not judging people or thinking negative thoughts towards someone. Even people that hurt me or use their words to try to change my positive attitude because they are so insecure with themselves and that makes them feel better. Yes this has happened a lot lately and well I won't let it!!! I will not base my thoughts and my happiness on what other people think of me or what other people put me down for and that is so freakin amazing!!!

I've decided that everything happens for a reason and all though I have no idea what path I'm on or supposed to be on I know that God has something in store for me....may it be big or small it's there and I may not even know when it happens but it will and I will be there to be the best person I can be and bring joy and friendship and love to as many people I can. All that we have is this life that we were so fortunate to get here on earth, even though sometimes it doesn't feel like that, that's all that we have and we have to and I mean have to use every day to the best of our abilities!! We can't waste a single moment to stand up and scream at the top of our lungs "I'M HERE, USE ME FOR SOMETHING GREAT!!!"