6 MONTHS

There are approximately 6 months until my birthday.....this does not excite me in the least. Actually when you get older birthdays, as you all already know, are just another day to get depressed about exactly how old you are. I'm in my 20's and I'm already depressed so this year I'm trying something different. I'm starting today and from here on out I will no longer be unhappy with myself, with my life, with what I have or haven't done. I will be happy and proud of myself from here on out. A few specific things would be to be a healthy person inside and out, to be able to look at other people and not judge them and to be able to have people look at me and me not assume that they are judging me. Eating healthier is a big part of it. I used to have some issues eating, I either wouldn't eat at all or I would puke up what I did eat...granted that was several months ago but I'm still struggling everyday to eat right and better and to know that I can eat, I have to eat to survive. So within in this 6 months I will not only change my outer appearance but my inner self also. There are so many things I want to learn and take part in. I want to do all of these things not only for myself but the people around me. I would like to finish the novel I'm writing. I would like to make it through my culinary program and complete what I've started for once in my life. By my birthday and for the rest of my life after I want to be able to say "HEY WORLD LOOK AT ME I'M A SURVIVOR, A SURVIVOR OF EVERY DAY LIFE. I NO LONGER HATE MYSELF FOR EATING THAT CUPCAKE, NOW I EMBRACE IT AND I THINK GOD ABOVE THAT I'M HERE AND ABLE TO EAT A CUPCAKE!!! I NO LONGER HATE THOSE SKINNY, BUBBLY GIRLS THAT SEEM TO HAVE THE WORLD AT THEIR FINGERTIPS....NO I DO NOT HATE THEM, I AM ONE OF THEM" Alright so that's what I will be able to say in 6 months....I could be freak just a little but can you imagine being so comfortable with yourself that you are able to fly your freak flag without really caring what other people think. I'll be honest I've had unreal times with my freak flag before but never completely oblivious of what other people think about me. So today I begin.........