Late Night Stress

So it's 1:20 am and I have officially had my first big wedding freak out. Everyone always said "oh my gosh it's so stressful to plan a wedding and it's awful and don't worry you a will understand when it happens to you." And when someone says this to me I think...whatever you guys are just selfish brats! Sorry to anyone that has said that to me and is reading this but that is what I thought. Well tonight I had a freak out....it was not a huge freak out but I was a brat and a baby and pouty and gross. It only lasted about 20 minutes but for me that's a long time to be absolutely intolerable! I began looking at invitations with my mom and really it was fine and good and then about 30 minutes later when we were still looking it was not fine or good anymore. I do not make decisions easily anyway and when I see a book as thick as both my thighs put together with identical (different) invitations covering it from cover to cover I began to get sweaty and hot and clammy and hopeful that a leprechaun or maybe a unicorn would come take me to their warm home under their rainbow forest. But this was not the case and another couple minutes went by before closing the book and rescheduling my invitation time for tomorrow. This was not a big freak out and if this was all that happened today I would not be ashamed or disgusted with myself but about 4 hours later while srapbooking and watching Kuff's with my parents I began to freak out about my wedding dress. Why was I thinking about my wedding dress while watching a fabulous classic 90's movie with Christian Slater? Well it's because I was scrapbooking my engagement and the infamous trying on/picking the dress. I had two pages. A page for the worst dresses I could have possibly put on my body and then the best dresses...the pretty ones, the ones that I weeded through until I found the right one. But as I was finishing up the Best Dressed page and labeling The One with a big white arrow pointing at it and a sign that said The One I began to wonder if The One was better than the other dresses that had been so quickly thrown to the side. All the other dresses that fit and felt and looked fabulous that had been unwisely treated. Maybe I was misguided in my journey to the perfect dress or maybe I got disoriented and didn't pick the dress that was the perfect dress. Anyways I was sitting there thinking all of these thoughts as the ending credits rolled and Christian Slater was put to rest. Then and there as the classic love music of the early 90's played I had a freak out. It was nothing short of hitting my feet on the ground and pounding my palms to my chest. It was not my finest 20 minutes and as my mother explained to me that the dress was beautiful and elegant and everything I wanted it to be I realized that I was being an ugly person and possibly ruining my credibility with myself!! So when all is said and done I have come to find that I may be a little crazy on the inside but I do promise myself here tonight at 1:39 am that the crazy will definitely stay on the inside. Here are my two rules to prevent any future unveiling of the true me....

Rule 1-

Do not watch any movies with skinny pretty girls that are in their underwear (even if it's just for a moment) while looking at pictures of myself in my wedding dress or scrapbooking those said pictures.

Rule 2 -

Do not and I repeat do not eat two handfuls of M&M's while looking at or scrapbooking pictures of one's self in my wedding dress.

P.S. - In general try to stay away from the M&M's until the wedding is over....actually you can even partake of them at the reception but for your sanity and everyone elses mental health please stay away from M&M's!!